Kanazawa geisha

Yesterday I had my first intimate exposure to geisha. In fact, I didn't realise until about 6am the next morning, when all the hints just kind of set in. I instantly woke up and couldn't go back to sleep until I relived the entire experience in my imagination.

One of my favourite students, a heart doctor took me out last night. We went to a nice restaurant, where we had a quiet meal. Like most sushi bars in Japan, the best place to sit is the counter. The women all wore kimonos and served us in the politest of Japanese.

When we left, he told me that the next place is a kind of special club. He was trying to prep me about the fact that it would be fancy...or so I thought. When we arrive, there are a handful of gorgeous ladies — hostesses, really — waiting outside. But we walked right past them and took the elevator to the top floor. Penthouse suite.

A tuxedoed man greeted us at the door and opened it upon a glorious, gold and black interior, where a kimono-clad girl was playing a harp. We sat down by the bar and talked while they prepped our room. The woman pouring our drinks wore a gold, sequined top, and our introduction consisted of her grabbing her breasts and saying something obscene in Japanese. So naturally, I thought we went to a posh hostess club.

Anyways, we enter the room and the girl who played the harp comes to sit next to me. She introduces herself and we attempt a broken conversation. She was new. It was her third day, so the conversation doesn't go too well. Somehow the red flag popped up and the 'mama' came over to talk to me. She tried a bit in extremely limited English, gave me her business card and introduced herself as 'Madam Night Butterfly'. At that point, a new girl entered, decked out in the most beautiful kimono. She sat on the other side of me, tucked in neatly between myself and the wall. She was much more skilled and immediately started a conversation with me. This time it went really well and even in my limited Japanese, we could communicate. Actually, we talked about a lot of things...and then the conversation turned dirty! The girl was really smart and made some — believe it or not — very clever dirty jokes.

The sequined top was all over my friend, and she seemed to be the ringleader of the sexual talk. I was kind of reserved in general, but I gave them what they wanted to hear. I mean, it wasn't like I was ever going to be able to come back anyway.
"What colour is your underwear?" was one question
"I'm not wearing any." I replied.
"How big is your...er, foot?" etc, etc, etc.
The game went on, with me taking it one step further each time. I told them about how Japanese condoms are too small and I have to get people to send me some and they loved it!

Anyways, eventually I go to the washroom and the harp-player geisha is in there. It's a single bathroom, which both men and women use, with the urinal in the open. This is not unusual for Japan. So I take a leak while the geisha is doing her makeup. When I finish and zip up, she is behind me, whispering "Let me help you" in my ear. Then I feel the hand rubbing against my pants. At this point she proceeds to button up my pants and does up my belt. Then she offers me a hot cloth to wipe my hands with. Next thing I know she's tucking in my shirt! I was more than bewildered! Confused even! She then announces that we are ready to go back out.

We return to the booth and talk some more before the place closes. We left without paying and they all walked us out, took the elevator down to the street level, and saw us off with humble bows, smiles and waves. It was probably one of the craziest experiences I've ever had in my life. But the strangest part is that I didn't even realise they were geisha until the next morning!