There's so much in this foreign place that I've not yet experienced. There's a strange balance between missing home and my life in Japan. The people who recruited me warned me a long time ago about how there's a pendulum-like swaying of emotions. They said occurring in about 3 month periods.
Now, in the year that I've been here I've only had one such swaying. Generally, I love living here and I probably won't be able to leave until I have consumed as much Japanese culture and language as I can. About a month ago, I was confronted by the future. I was offered a chance to stay another year and so was forced to plan out my future as far as the end of 2008. Now, some of you know that I barely have a calendar and never wear a watch. My sense of 'definite future' only goes as far as 2 weeks ahead.
Well..........So began the first downswing of the pendulum. I began to miss home. To miss poutine, to miss cold winters, whole grain bread, and random (english) flirtations in department stores. The list goes on.
I must say that, during this time — perhaps from slight depression — my room became very dirty. I just came back from Vacation with my bro, Gavin to a room I left trashed. Here's the BEFORE picture:
About a week passed, while I was deeply pondering the future. The answer came with a spring cleaning of the disaster-zone that was my room. The the upswing of the pendulum! Ever since last week, I've really wanted to stay in Japan for a longer time. We'll see what happens, but I guess for now I'll be eating sashimi and miso soup, and sleeping on the floor.
Oh! here's the AFTER pic:
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
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4 comments:
my "apartmento" is 6 tatami. it is IMPOSSIBLE to keep it clean because it's so small.
How big is your apartment?... and... does it smell? My building has a smell. I call it "eau de chateau oji", with heavy emphasis on the "eau de".
Graeme,
That's really true about living in another place.
Actually, I feel something similar since coming back from Japan - a swinging pendulum between two places, metaphorical or literal.
When I first came back I felt diffuse angst or ennui or whatever. Now it's gone, but I realized I really miss you man. If you stay in Japan I'll come visit again for sure.
Yeah, the pendulum thing seems to have a wide swing for me. Like maybe every 14 months.
I miss you too, Gav. You're welcome here anytime.
Erin, I'm not sure but my apartment is about 8½ tatami. It's a decent size.
Truly!! Its also a strong analagous for the culture from a foreigners perspective. I find japan is as exclusionary as it is inclusionary, and perhaps it breathes you in and out on a similar calender to the inner pendulum.
At times I felt like I was more welcome than the japanese in japan, and other times I found it much like an absurd and protected code to crack.
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